The Relative Comment

soothing waves of relativity

Rick Santorum wants to be Mike Huckabee (remember him?)

with 7 comments

How much money is it worth to lose the Presidential Election via winning the Iowa Caucus? The Republican Presidential Primary Campaign Train, as it always does, is currently going through the muckety-muck that is the the FIRST IN THE NATION EXTRAVAGANZA CAUCUS OF HIGHLY IMPORTANT SOCIAL AND EVANGELICAL CONSERVATIVE VOTER TEST OF OVERLY RIGHTWING BONA FIDES that is the Iowa Caucus.

It’s such a waste of time. Even to someone as tuned in an politically minded as TRC, we have to ask: Why does this happen? Winning the Caucus-going Iowa Republicans does not mean you will win the suburban Minnesota Republicans who vote on election day, or even the suburban Iowa Republicans who vote on election day. It means you win the small, handful of very conservative, Christian, caucus-goers who can be convinced to Caucus by barbecue sandwiches and fear of the gays. Take that, Iowa. You have once again been satirically over-simplified.*

To wit: This morning, I read a relatively boring article from Politico (as they usually are) about the potential surge of…Rick Santorum in the Iowa Caucuses. Rick Santorum: the famously anti-gay, very boring, social conservative haymaker from Pennsylvania who has won the ire of every progressive by being so calmly able to condemn entire communities of sinners with dispassionate rhetoric. Politico asks, essentially, is Rick Santorum the past or future of the Republican Party? (Note to Republicans, you really, seriously, sincerely and earnestly better hope that Rick Santorum is NOT the future of the Republican Party).

Anyway. The point of this piece, and so many others regarding Iowa, is that Rick Santorum, as well as Ron Paul and Michele Bachmann, are all fighting to be the Mike Huckabee of 2012. Remember Mike Huckabee? He was the very evangelical conservative Pastor and former Governor who plays in a rock band and ran for President in 2008 and took the nation by surprise by winning Iowa and then won nothing else and didn’t matter that much in the eventual outcome because he couldn’t actually win anything other than the very strange and unrepresentative of the nation contest that is the Iowa Caucuses? Yeah. Rick Santorum is fighting to be that guy in 2012.

Iowa, I think you’re day is done.

*I recognize that candidate Obama received a major boost by winning the Iowa Caucus in 2008. I do not think, however, that the Republican and Democratic caucus goers are equally unrepresentative nationally.

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Written by Christopher ZF

December 30, 2011 at 10:28

7 Responses

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  1. Maybe Rick Santorum just wants his own show on Fox News.

    Holly H.

    December 30, 2011 at 10:36

    • Touche. What better way to get in at Fox News than to be celebrated by the evangelical portion of the GOP?

      czfinke

      December 30, 2011 at 10:39

      • I don’t know Chris– I’m not sure I would take seriously the suggestions of anyone who uses an avatar of a 1950s housewife. (Hey sis!)

        Brandon

        December 30, 2011 at 14:01

    • Hi, Bro!

      Holly H.

      December 30, 2011 at 14:46

  2. I think most Iowans would prefer to not be in such a spotlight. While visiting my mom over Christmas (and staying in her home), she received an average of 2 phone calls per day from pre-recorded pollsters trying to gauge the likelihood of her voting for this candidate or this candidate (if she had to vote today, of course) and to which issue she cared about the most (first option given: pro-life, second option given: “preserving the sanctity of marriage”, followed by protecting gun rights, controlling gov’t spending, job creation, and then something about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq…). When I asked her how she felt about all these phone calls, she expressed her confusion and said skeptically, “Does our [Iowan] opinion really matter that much in the whole scheme of the country? Do we really have that much of an influence on who becomes president?” To which I said, yeah, apparently, though I couldn’t tell you how/why. Stating that yes, in 2008 it helped Obama.

    I personally took great (albeit, astounded) pleasure in these phone calls when staying with my mom. I answered a few of them with my much more leftist views, and know of other former Iowans who did the same thing in their parents’ homes this holiday season. So, take the poll results with a grain of salt.

    I love Iowa, it’s where I grew up. You have many accurate points in your post, though I resent being satirically over-simplified. Do not underestimate the power of a “free” barbecue sandwich, when you’re an Iowan, sometimes you just gotta take attention when you can get it.

    Sarah

    December 30, 2011 at 11:57

    • no disrespect to Iowa here, Sarah. It’s a great state. don’t resent my satirical over-simplification. it is only satire. and I acknowledge my whole-hearted embrace of that which gets mocked about Minnesota.
      We must love and defend the places we are from.

      The problem is less about “Iowans” and more about the problems of the Iowa Caucus. Which are many, and like all politics, fun to berate.

      czfinke

      December 30, 2011 at 12:15

      • I know you’re just joking. I poke fun of Iowa, too. It’s nearly impossible not to. Especially of our love of free food 🙂

        I love your blog… and I think this is a great post re: the Iowa Caucuses.

        Sarah

        December 30, 2011 at 12:25


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